Many people wonder if emotional cheating is as serious as physically cheating on their spouse. Well the truth is that if you are engaging in behavior with someone else, that you cannot share with your spouse then there is a problem and that problem can quickly escalate and become a major deal breaker in your marriage.
Let's be clear what we mean about emotional cheating and then explain why this kind of cheating can be such a threat to your marriage.
Emotional cheating is where you develop a friendship with someone outside of your marriage. Classical it is a work mate who you find yourself looking forward to seeing when you get to work. Perhaps you've started taking your lunch together? Offering lifts to and from work? Sitting in the park talking about your feelings and your marriage, about your work and the stresses and strains of life? You can open up and talk to your 'friend' but you can't do the same with your spouse. And you definitely can't tell your spouse about your friend! This is emotional cheating and though it may look innocent and you may even be able to convince yourself that nothing is going on, you'd be wrong.
What generally happens is that an emotional commitment grows between you and your 'friend' and before you know it, that commitment has become physical and a full blown affair has begun.
What you need to understand is that any time you have a 'friend' that you cannot tell your spouse about, then that is wrong. If you can't share your day with your spouse without missing out great chunks of that day, then something is wrong.
No one ever sets out to emotionally cheat on their spouse. Usually there's a need to talk and connect with someone because that need is not being met in your marriage.
Sit down today with your spouse and talk honestly about what has been going on and why you think it has been going on. Your spouse might be angry and even feel betrayed that you have discussed intimate and personal issues about your marriage and your lives with someone else, but it is better that you face this head on right now before you cross over into a physical relationship.
You and your spouse need to find help to repair whatever is wrong in your marriage. You need to take the steps to reconnect with each other, so that both your emotional needs are being met where they should be: within the marriage.
Emotional cheating is often the beginning of a full on affair! If you have an affair think about the damage that that will do to your marriage? Are you ready to lose the spouse you love?
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