Divorce Alimony Laws - So You're Getting a Divorce, Helpful Things to Know

In many cases when a couple seeks to divorce, one spouse has been the higher wage earner and provider for the family. Sometimes, the non-wage earner or lower-wage earner has less education and skills than the higher wage earning spouse. In order to ensure the economic and financial well being of the lower-wage earning spouse, alimony payments may either be agreed upon by the divorcing couple or set by the court. Alimony may be permanent or rehabilitative based on the circumstances of the couple. The guidelines used to determine spousal support payments are set by divorce alimony laws, and each state's statutes concerning spousal support are generally based on The Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act. Most state's alimony guidelines include the following considerations:

o The standard of living established during the marriage
o The length of the marriage
o The age as well as the physical and emotional condition of each spouse
o The length of time required for either spouse to obtain sufficient education or training to secure appropriate employment
o The ability of the payer spouse to meet alimony obligations and still support himself or herself

Additional guidelines may include considerations such as:

o The non-marital and marital financial resources of each spouse, including income and debts
o The available sources of income for each spouse
o The contribution of and the services rendered by (i.e. child care) each spouse during the marriage

According to divorce alimony laws, rehabilitative alimony requires that there be a specific finding that one spouse is financially needy and requires assistance from the other spouse in acquiring the skills needed to obtain proper employment and adjust to a new life. It is assumed that once the needy spouse has obtained employment and has achieved a level of financial stability, alimony will no longer be necessary. In some cases of rehabilitative alimony, a spouse may not be working because of young children in the home. In these cases, once the youngest child is of school age and the spouse is then able to work, alimony payments will be terminated.

Temporary alimony may be awarded while a couple is separated and waiting on the divorce to be finalized. As with rehabilitative alimony, there is usually a set time limit for temporary alimony payments.

Permanent alimony, according to divorce alimony laws, is the indefinite payment of spousal support. If the divorce decree does not specify a termination date for the alimony payments, then spousal support is to continue until the court determines that payments may be terminated. Reduction in alimony payments may be determined by the court if certain conditions are met by the payor spouse.

The laws regarding spousal support do vary by state, but most state statutes follow the general guidelines established under The Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act.

Emotional Cheating - Yes Your Marriage is at Risk If You're Emotionally Cheating

Many people wonder if emotional cheating is as serious as physically cheating on their spouse. Well the truth is that if you are engaging in behavior with someone else, that you cannot share with your spouse then there is a problem and that problem can quickly escalate and become a major deal breaker in your marriage.

Let's be clear what we mean about emotional cheating and then explain why this kind of cheating can be such a threat to your marriage.

Emotional cheating is where you develop a friendship with someone outside of your marriage. Classical it is a work mate who you find yourself looking forward to seeing when you get to work. Perhaps you've started taking your lunch together? Offering lifts to and from work? Sitting in the park talking about your feelings and your marriage, about your work and the stresses and strains of life? You can open up and talk to your 'friend' but you can't do the same with your spouse. And you definitely can't tell your spouse about your friend! This is emotional cheating and though it may look innocent and you may even be able to convince yourself that nothing is going on, you'd be wrong.

What generally happens is that an emotional commitment grows between you and your 'friend' and before you know it, that commitment has become physical and a full blown affair has begun.

What you need to understand is that any time you have a 'friend' that you cannot tell your spouse about, then that is wrong. If you can't share your day with your spouse without missing out great chunks of that day, then something is wrong.

No one ever sets out to emotionally cheat on their spouse. Usually there's a need to talk and connect with someone because that need is not being met in your marriage.

Sit down today with your spouse and talk honestly about what has been going on and why you think it has been going on. Your spouse might be angry and even feel betrayed that you have discussed intimate and personal issues about your marriage and your lives with someone else, but it is better that you face this head on right now before you cross over into a physical relationship.

You and your spouse need to find help to repair whatever is wrong in your marriage. You need to take the steps to reconnect with each other, so that both your emotional needs are being met where they should be: within the marriage.

Emotional cheating is often the beginning of a full on affair! If you have an affair think about the damage that that will do to your marriage? Are you ready to lose the spouse you love?